


merry crisis

by N_Is_For_Knowledge



Series: the association of dumbassery [4]
Category: All the Wrong Questions - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Jewish Character, Texting, but like vaguely, everyone is jewish, fu:13si kids are mentioned blame lemony that they didn’t show up, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21969670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N_Is_For_Knowledge/pseuds/N_Is_For_Knowledge
Summary: ”Grammatically Correct Lemon: Merry Christmas to everyone!origaymi: bitch we’re all jewish”The Associates get into some shenanigans on Christmas. But, of course, it wouldn’t be the Associates without various shenanigans!
Series: the association of dumbassery [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586047
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	merry crisis

**Author's Note:**

> Usernames!
> 
> Lemony: Grammatically Correct Lemon
> 
> Moxie: force of courage
> 
> Kellar: I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR
> 
> Ornette: origaymi
> 
> Ellington: shut up all of you
> 
> Cleo: Better Than Any Of You
> 
> Jake: the Sane One

**|The Association Of Dumb Names|**

_7:27 AM_

  
_**Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ Merry Christmas to everyone!

 _ **origaymi:**_ bitch we’re all jewish

 _ **force of courage:**_ yeah nearly no one in stain’d i know celebrates christmas. idk about kell & ell tho

 _ **I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:** _no we’re jewish

 _ **shut up all of you:**_ i’m jewish.

 _ **the Sane One:**_ snicket, do u celebrate christmas?

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:** _No, I'm Jewish.

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:** _We never really celebrated holidays at VFD, though.

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ Apparently there were more important things to do with our time.

 _ **Better Than Any Of You:**_ WHAT???

 _ **force of courage:**_ WHAT THE FUCK?? HELL NO

 _ **I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:**_ I TAKE BACK EVERY GOOD THING I HAVE EVER SAID ABOUT VFD

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ Okay, but are we not going to talk about the fact that Moxie just called Kellar and Ellington ‘kell and ell’?

 _ **force of courage:**_ ur the outsiders! kell, ell, and l!

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ Please don't call me L.

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ Also, are you seriously referencing that book where that kid with the weird name and that kid with the normal name had to go on the run because one of them killed a guy?

 _ **the Sane One:**_ i always wondered why the book was called that

 _ **Better Than Any Of You:**_ because the greasers were outsiders to society, duh

 _ **origaymi:**_ IM STILL REELING OVER THE FACT THAT VFD DOESNT CELEBRATE HOLIDAYS

 _ **I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:**_ YEAH WHATS UP WITH THAT

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:** _I told you already, they thought there were more important things to do with our time.

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ Honestly, it doesn’t really surprise me.

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ I’m pretty sure the principal of our training facility would get rid of weekends if he could.

 _ **I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:**_ YOUR PRINCIPAL CAN GO ROT IN THE FARTHEST DEEPEST PITS OF HELL WHERE HE BELONGS

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:** _Calm down, Kellar.

 _ **force of courage:**_ ‘calm down, kellar’ says the guy who had to be physically restrained from jumping into the clusterous forest to retrieve his fucking library book

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ IT WAS THE LIBRARY’S ONLY COPY OF ANNA KARENINA AND QWERTY WOULD’VE KILLED ME IF I LOST IT. HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW I TOOK IT OUT OF THE LIBRARY.

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ IF I LOST IT, THEN I WOULD HAVE TO TELL HIM, AND THEN HE WOULD USE HIS DISAPPOINTED FACE ON ME. YOU KNOW THE ONE.

 ** _origaymi:_** oh wow is this the first time lemonys ever used caps lock?

 _ **force of courage:**_ idk i think so

 _ **Better Than Any Of You:**_ he’s growing up someday he will be an adult and he will desert us forever to find cooler friends

 _ **I DO NOT HAVE WEIRD HAIR:**_ apart from the caps lock his grammar is still perfect

 _ **force of courage:**_ looks like he still has a long way to go

 _ **force of courage:**_ don’t worry snicket someday u will become a grammarless heathen just like the rest of us

 _ **the Sane One:**_ speaking of ‘the rest of us’

 _ **the Sane One:**_ should we add the rest of the stain’d squad?

 _ **shut up all of you:** _‘stain’d squad’?

 _ **the Sane One:**_ yeah, all the kids left in stain’d

 _ **the Sane One:**_ u know... oliver? drumstick? marguerite? the treacle twins? jackie? kevin and florence?

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:** _I don't think we should. This is the chat for the Association Of Associates.

 _ **shut up all of you:**_ do we seriously have to call ourselves that

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:** _Yes.

 _ **origaymi:**_ we could just add snicket to the stain’d squad gc it’d be a lot less work

 ** _force of courage:_** hell no where are we supposed to trash talk lemony behind his back then??

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:** _Are you trash talking me without me?

 _ **shut up all of you:**_ let snicket join he’s probably the best at trash talking snicket

 _ **Grammatically Correct Lemon:** _Ellington, why do you exist? To torment me?

 _ **shut up all of you:**_ duh

_( **shut up all of you** changed their nickname to **exists to torment snicket** )_

_**Grammatically Correct Lemon:**_ Fuck you.

**Author's Note:**

> don’t worry, Cleo, lem’s gonna be an adult real soon...


End file.
